An Open Letter To “Self-Worth”

self-worth

Dear: Self-Worth

You don’t know me, because when I was born I didn’t know myself. I grew into this person whom everyone gave a description of, but none of the descriptions matched me. I tried to fit into who I thought you wanted me to be until I flipped through the magazines and didn’t see anyone who represented me. I was either too tall or to short, my hair was either too curly or to straight, my lips were either too big or to small, my complexion was either to light or to dark, and my size was nothing in-between so I hid my curves from you, I bleached my skin, I straighten my nose, I wore heels all the time, I chemically treated  my hair, I forced you to like me, even though I didn’t like myself.

I changed who I was to become what I saw, I became a bully to myself chanting words to encourage me that I was not good enough to be seen, NO you’re not pretty enough! NO you’re not skinny enough!  I insisted on watching the ads on television inviting me to change what I hated most about myself, which was everything, so my vision board became a body board. I would pick out everything I wanted to change about myself and replace it with body parts that didn’t belong to me, skinnier thighs, smaller waist, smoother skin, and longer hair.

I didn’t care what I had to do to accomplish it, if I could look like half of the models and celebrities on Television and the Magazine then my work was done, until one day while I was vigorously searching for more things to change about me, I came across the word “SELF-WORTH” and the definition followed “ TO BE WORTHY OF ONE’S SELF”, and I  thought to myself, when have I ever been worthy and why haven’t I been worthy of all my accomplishments. And that’s when  I knew my worth was nonexistent, because everything that god gave to me was all reliant upon the things I wanted to change about myself and what I know now is if I am worthy of God’s love then I am worthy of all love, and instead of trying to fix the outside of me, I really needed to  start fixing the inside of me first.

No more would I accept or tolerate self-hate, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, because I am aware now that who I am is not determined by what someone else deems as beautiful, but how beautiful I am to myself, so I say to self-worth today thank-you! For allowing me not to change who I am, but to change how I think.

“To all the young Girls, Ladies and all Women in general please look inside you before looking outside yourself, because beauty is truly deep inside each one of our roots. We just have to branch out to see it”.

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I am a woman Because…

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I am a Woman Because…

Who are you to tell me because I am a women I don’t have any rights. NO! You will not educate me on my sexual duties because you believe that’s all I’m worth.  NO! I will not be your child bride, left to become impregnated and abandoned, while you continue to bring underage girls into these small cramped quarters you call a home. NO! You will not enslave me and subject me to your verbal and physical abuse.  NO! You will not damage, degrade and destroy my body for money and drugs while brain washing me into thinking that I am your property.

NO! I will not conceal my identity from head to toe because of your religious beliefs, but because I have chosen to believe in my own rights of religion. NO! You will not strip me of my rights to be a child, a young girl and eventually a woman. NO! I will not be treated as community property, bargained, brought, and traded.

My womanhood gives me the choice to bring forth life; it should not be demanded upon me. I WILL petition to have a higher education, to be a boss, to become a successful entrepreneur and to empower all women, because I am flesh, blood and bone. I am created worthy enough to receive equal pay, run for president, and be a leader in my own rights. I am beautiful, I am strong, I am intelligent and I will not settle for less. I will dictate my own worth on a scale that measures me at a higher potential than you place me on.

I will not accept machismo behaviors nor will I tolerate femicide. You will hear the words NO as a request to STOP and not validate it to your own ears as an inferior outburst to continue. You will not label me a BITCH because I have a voice, and if one day I am left to become a single mother I WILL take care of my responsibilities while you cowardly run out the back door. I am a woman because I was born this way, and you can either stand with me or get out of my way.

Dedicated to all my Girls, Young ladies and Women who face social injustice every day.

#Self-Worth Monique Antoinette

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